Daily Front Row

2010 February 2

Kell Out of Context

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If You Have to Cry Go Outside
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We're in Kelly Cutrone overdrive here at Chic, between last night's Kell on Earth premiere and the copy of If You Have to Cry Go Outside sitting on our desk. And while the blogosphere's been buzzing about the publicist-cum-self help guru's new media moments, we're a little more amused by taking her out of context. Confused? Just wait. Without further ado, the most brilliant moments from If You Have to Cry Go Outside. (We promise we didn't make these up.)

"So I embarked on a love affair with Swedish Fish. I would walk down the street working my way through bags and bags of them; with no coffee, cigarettes, or sex, I needed something."

"Despite my spiritually aspirational state, I was down for rock stardom. After all, why shouldn't the Goddess hit the stage?"

"My t*ts were like the SoHo welcoming committee."

"Speedy Gonzales arrived at my door and informed me there was a cab waiting downstairs."

"I'm not the Mother's publicist, nor does she need one, and I don't think Eastern meditation is the answer for everyone."

"Suspended in the air above my the bed, clear as day, floated the face of a woman I'd never seen before."

"Last weekend she was hospitalized because her patent leather Prada boots stuck together and she tripped."

"Frankly, it takes way too long to do all those spells. Witchcraft is outdated."