2011 December 9
Marie Claire's Sergio Kletnoy had another epic week breathing the same air as Madonna, Angelina Jolie, Valentino, and most importantly Joanna Coles. (Right, Sergio?) This might be the column that makes all of you officially jelly of Hearst's VIP assistant.
Sunday, 7:30 p.m.
BEST. WEEK. EVER. I’m at the hottest event this weekend—the premiere of Madonna’s directorial debut, W.E. at the MoMA. The paparazzi outside were vicious and loud, the journalists on the red carpet were anxious and hungry, and as Amanda Hearst and I rushed passed Madonna’s right hand, Liz Rosenberg, and Guy Oseary, her left hand, someone from the press crowd yelled out “Sergio, this is your chance, you will finally get to meet Madonna!” If only, I thought to myself. There was enough star wattage in the room to ignite a nuclear bomb. On the way down to our seats, we passed Valentino and Giancarlo Giammetti, Patti Smith, Donna Karan, Parker Posey, Anderson Cooper, Rachel Roy, Michelle Trachtenberg, Kim Cattrall, Depeche Mode’s lead singer Dave Gahan, Steven Klein, Andre Leon Talley, Chloe Sevigny, Francisco Costa, Arianne Phillips, Julian Schnabel and Harvey Weinstein. (And those are just the ones I saw!) I even spotted MC’s very own, Nina Garcia. As we were making small talk, the entire room went silent…From the whispers, we realized that The Queen had finally arrived. First, a few remarks from the event organizer Andrew Saffir, founder of The Cinema Society. Then Harvey Weinstein took the stage to introduce the lady of the night (or as I like to refer to her, the Goddess of Cool), the Lady of the Manner, the only one that matters: MADONNA.) That face—perfection. The hair—luxurious. She was decked out in all black Cavalli, styled by Lola. Need I say, she looked amazing. Madge gave shout-outs to Julien Schnabel and Patti Smith, both in the audience, whom she called revolutionaries. And as she made her way to her throne, she leaned over to Patti Smith (Oh how I wished it was me!) and gave her a kiss on the cheek. OK, about the film: I know I’m biased, but it was beautiful. The cinematography was mindblowing, costumes were glorious, storyline was great—Madonna did not disappoint. Madge’s new song Masterpiece plays over the credits. And, trust me, it was a masterpiece. Before I could make my way over, Madonna was gone. Heartbroken, I headed for the exits when I spot Valentino in the hallway. So I introduced myself and told him how much I loved his documentary, The Last Emperor, to which he smiled, turned around, pointed at the theatre and said in a thick accent “Thank-a youuuuu, We-a did-a the premiere-a at the MOMA-a here-a”. I smiled and said I remember (only because Madonna was there!) He introduced me to his partner, Giancarlo. I smiled, thanked them both, and left. What dreams may come…
Monday, 3 p.m.
Fate is laughing at me right now. Today I received a special delivery, press kit and new perfume from Madonna, called “Truth or Dare." The kit came with a vase of yellow waterlillies, a gold box, a blindfold, and a tiny vial of the scent. I spritzed it all over me on my way out to the Bowery Ballroom later that evening for the debut performance from one of my fave new singers, the hottest ticket in town, Lana Del Rey. Outside the venue, people were begging for tickets, while inside we were packed like sardines, piled up on top of each other trying to catch a glimpse of those beautiful lips. I was whisked away to the VIP area (but you already knew that), though the view wasn’t much better. The second Lana made her way onstage, it was all worth it. Lana was magical, like a grittier, hip-hop version of a 1950’s Hollywood goddess. After the show, I got some one on one time with Lana and confessed my love for her. Unfortunately, I’m pretty sure I wasn’t the only one— her receiving line seemed longer than the Pope’s! Embarrassing moment of the night: While posing for a photo with Lana, I tripped and almost fell right in front of her. Oh well, at least I made a lasting impression.
Tuesday, 6 p.m.
Ever since I started working in entertainment, I’ve met only six people who made me nervous: Michael Jackson, SJP, Vanessa Paradis, Whitney Houston, THE BOSS and, most recently, Betty White. Well, I can now add Angelina Jolie to my OMFG list! THE BOSS hosted an exclusive screening and Q&A of Angie’s (we’re tight like that) new movie, In the Land of Blood and Honey—and I was next to Goddess Jolie every step of the way. I was introduced to the last of the great Hollywood superstars backstage by JoCo. Jolie smiled at me with those pillow lips, melted my heart, made me stutter and thanked me for all of my help at the event. We talked about her movie, my background and childhood—I could not take my eyes off of her. I couldn’t resist asking her to take a photobooth photo with me. She said, “Photobooth? I’ve never done one of these before!” (How many people on this planet get to say they were Angie’s first!!!) The event was a huge success, the film was moving, and Angie caused the biggest mayhem Hearst Tower has ever seen. On my way home after the event, I felt dazed, like I’d just met one of the apostles….only so much hotter.
Wednesday, 4 p.m.
Angelina coma. That’s all.
Thursday, all day
Today, I met up for an interview with one of my all-time fave comics, the hot blonde from 3rd Rock From The Sun, AKA Ivana Humpalot from Austin Powers, AKA the crazy party girl who proclaimed New York O-V-E-R on Sex & The City, and one of the realest bitches in the game, Kristen Johnston. What was supposed to be a 20 minute interview, turned into a four hour joyride. She asked if I would mind heading downtown in her car to do the interview near her home. Seriously? Do you even have to ask? Once inside the car, she proceeds to interview me instead. She wants to know everything: where I was born, how I got to NYC, how I became the fiercest assistant in town, my family…Basically the ride downtown turned into a 30 minute therapy session, and I could barely stop laughing from how funny this woman is. She busted my chops the entire way—FINALLY, I meet someone who can dish it as well as take it. Just like me! We stopped at the bank, went shopping, dropped off Kristen’s bags, picked up her laptop, and headed over to a local diner. Once inside the corner booth, Kristen whipped out her laptop and started reading the first chapter of her biography called GUTS: The Endless Follies and Tiny Triumphs of a Giant Disaster. She was so engaging, warm, funny and a total hybrid of all of her iconic characters. I felt like I was watching a one woman show. Check out The Exes her hilarious new sitcom on TV Land. I promise, you’ll laugh out loud.
Friday 12 p.m.
Too excited to come up with a music playlist for today as I’m counting the hours until the MILK Studio’s holiday party at the Standard. Only nine more hours to go! All of my friends will be there, and I am so ready for a night of debauchery after a week full of work. Later, bitches.
2011 December 9
Billy Farrell Agency View Gallery
Last night, Barneys New York celebrated Todd Oldham and Kiera Coffee's massive book on Alexander Girard ($200) with guests Anna Sui, John Waters, Wendy Goodman, Simon Doonan, Mark Lee, Tony Longoria, and (maybe) Lady Miss Kier enjoying cocktails and nibbles just a few floors up from (the most important place on earth right now) Gaga's Workshop. We caught up with Oldham and Coffee to get the scoop on their beloved and impressive project.
The book is gigantic. How much does it weigh?
The book weighs fifteen pounds and it's 672 pages.
Wow! Whose idea was it?
It was not so much of an idea as a calling. When I had the pleasure of meeting the Girard's and seeing the body of his work that had never been seen before, it was so clear that it had to be a monograph that celebrated everything. We know a few things, but what we know there is a hundred times more. It's an astonishing amount of work. Mr. Girard was an incredible artist who constantly shifted mediums. Whether he was designing graphics or textiles or furniture or buildings, he was the most thorough thoughtful man. When he designed a lighting scheme, he designed a light bulb. It's way beyond most designers idea of how things work.
What's a typical day like for you these days?
None. There is no typical day, which is so great. Every day is a new adventure.
And you're 100 percent done with designing clothes?
I had a really nice time and the pleasure of getting to stop when I wanted, but I don't have that calling anymore.
How long have you had the beard now?
A few years now...I cut a few feet off every few months.
Kiera, what did you learn about Girard from co-authoring the book?
What I knew about him beforehand is twenty percent of what's in the book, and I knew a fair amount. I knew him as a textile designer, but what I discovered was a whole world. His vision was so dimensional. He was like a walking art historian. Mr. Girard really deserves this attention.
The book is really heavy! Did you guys fight with your editor about the size?
That was Todd's battle. Our editor was fantastic. He was right there with us. He'd say it's actually physically impossible to do that many pages in that size because the books going to break when you open it up. There was back and forth, but no fight. Everybody was for it being as bold and beautiful as it is.
How do you know Todd?
We both worked on Nest magazine. After he did Kid Made Modern, I was at Cookie and approached him to do a craft project for the magazine, which he did. We fell in love!
What else are you working on?
I'm working on a novel that's a skeptical look at reincarnation. It's a humorous look.
2011 December 9
Courtesy photo View Gallery
We love fashion! One day, we might be chatting with Kathy Hilton in Aruba. Another day, it's dishing with Dancing With the Stars' Cheryl Burke. Cheryl is not, repeat not, a fashion designer, but she IS the face of Macy's new brand of supercute activewear, Ideology, that debuts this spring. Welcome to the family, love! We caught up with her at the Dream Hotel as the line was toasted by Richie Rich, Irina Shayk, Malik So Chic and Rob Kardashian.
How did this all come about?
I love Ideology. I feel like it's such a good fit for me and for what I do. I'm very active. I dance all the time. It's been hard for me to find something that looks good and feels good. This line is made for all shapes and sizes. I'm very curvy, and it's always been hard to find something to wear for my body shape. I would never get to wear color. It would always be black. How boring is that?
You're the face of the brand. Anything to do with the design?
We interviewed former DWTS host Samantha Harris recently about her jean line. Is designing in your future?
I'd love to be involved with this line first. I'd love to start a line of shoes that are comfortable that still look hot.
Full-on platform heels.
You and Rob Kardashian must be pretty tight if he's deejaying your party.
We developed a great relationship. I found out he was deejaying a few days ago; it was such a surprise. I didn't even know he could DJ, but he knows what kind of music I like.
We're at the Dream. Tell us about your last one.
I always dream that I'm being chased; I don't know why. I'm always in the forest running away from some animal. I always wake up in a sweat.
If someone taught Cherylology like biology, what would the curriculum be?
Dancing, obviously. I'm a really good sleeper. I can sleep like nobody's business. I'm a good girl to go out with if you want to have a good time. I know how to get down. I also like to cook.
How do you sleep so well?
I have no idea. It's a huge skill of mine. One day I slept for 22 hours without taking anything. If I don't get 10 hours of sleep, I am not going to be in a good mood.
Do you believe in Santa?
No, but I do believe in getting what you want for Christmas.
2011 December 9
Terry's Diary View Gallery
You never know who'll pop up at Terry Richardson's studio! This week, it's Carine Roitfeld's turn to get goofy on Terry's Diary! We're not sure what the cross-eyes are about, but we'll never argue with anything Roitfeld does.
2011 December 9
Getty Images View Gallery
Earlier this week we shared a classic Naomi Campbell video from her teen years, but did you know that when she was seven, she appeared in Bob Marley's Is This Love video? Take that to your next Trivial Pursuit match! In this clip from a documentary on Marley, she shares her first impression of him, and we've posted the vid to see if you can spot Naomi. It's the new Where's Waldo?
2011 December 9
Billy Farrell Agency View Gallery
As we were making our daily visit to Billy Farrell Agency to see what you were doing last night, we came across this gem of a pic that somehow slipped through our fingers. It's Anna Wintour being entertained by little people (none named Tavi!) as Annie Leibowitz looks on. Have you ever seen anything more precious? This shot was from a few weeks ago at Pace Gallery for Annie's show Pilgrimage, and makes us feel all fuzzy.
Marimekko has brought on Anna Teurnell as creative director ...
Where was every serious foodie in Manhattan on Wednesday night...
WHAT: Carven Black Suede Bow Strap Heels...WHY: We know Carven’s...