2010 December 21
Chic's resident jock Adam Brecht continues his tireless quest to teach us anything he can about the elusive world of football.
"Football season is on, mon cher! Yet you look pale, fashion friend. Let me read your mind! You think: This football, she is a foreign language to me. How can I ever understand?
Worry not! Fashion and football have several things in common! With this handy guide, you'll soon be as comfortable in the Jets VIP box as you are at Don Hill's.
The Seasons. Fashion or football, cher, it's all about the season! This season ('Too busy, can't talk!), last season ('Help me forget!'), next season ('Will he even be around?'), the season is the basic unit of time. Football has one season annually. Fashion has several. But really. That's just detail! Don't worry yourself!
The Players. Whether it's Astroturf or fashion runway under your pricey footwear, call yourself a player, player! Football has 11 players whose goal is simple: run the ball to the end of the field sans fumbling. That's like 11 models walking to the end of the runway without tripping. Football has 11 other men trying to stop the first 11. Fashion has...hello! Catfight!
Scoring. Football or Seventh Avenue, you know they're keeping score. Don't even pretend. Football has four ways to score: touchdowns, extra points or two-point conversions, the field goal and the safety. Fashion also has four ways to score: Fashion Week. Red carpet. Major award. And your own movie.
On Your Marks. What would football or fashion be without the dominating Mark and Marc? For the New York Jets, that's Mark Sanchez, the quarterback -- key player -- who sets the direction, draws the crowds and always intrigues the press. In fashion, well, you know that!
There now. Don't you feel better? Soon you and your Vespa will have a permanent parking slot at Meadowlands Stadium. No, that's not the boite on Crosby Street. It really is in the Meadowlands."
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