2012 November 2

Sergio Says! Musings From Cosmo (and Beyond...)

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Some pre-Sandy stress eating, a bad case of the sniffles, and the drama that ensued in this hurricane-ravaged city, with less to say about Cosmo's Hearst HQ than usual: here's Sergio Kletnoy's take on this past week...

While roaming the first floor of the Met with my cousin and two nephews, I face-bumped right into one of rock’s biggest icons, Velvet Underground frontman and Andy Warhol man-muse Lou Reed, as he made his way through the Arms & Armor Centennial. I followed him for at least 20 minutes while singing "Perfect Day" in my head over and over again. He probably thought I was a stalker or that I was trying to pick him up—either way, I probably looked cray-cray.

In preparation for that bitch Sandy, I stayed in bed all day watching reruns of Ugly Betty while overdosing on Salt & Vinegar Pringles, Pepperidge Farm Double Chocolate Milanos, and two jars of Nutella. I ate enough junk food for at least three days—and the storm hadn’t even hit yet! Fortunately for me, the Upper East Side was barely affected. I felt a slight drizzle and some winds, but that’s pretty much it.  

When I woke up, I went straight for my iPhone to see the damage, only to find an email from Joanna Lumley, aka AbFab’s Patsy Stone, checking up on my wellbeing. (How f*cking awesome is that?) She was due to arrive to NYC to work on Scorcese’s big new movie, Wolf of Wall Street, starring Leo (yeah, that Leo), but had to postpone her trip due to the hurricane. For all you AbFab fanatics, Joanna’s wardrobe from the show is up for auction at Kerry Taylor Auctions—all the money raised goes to underprivileged children. I’m thinking of bidding on a few things myself. I need some Lacroix in my life! The rest of the day was spent in bed watching reruns of The Real Housewives of Atlanta, Wizard of Oz (natch) and more Ugly Betty


I woke up with a sore throat and for the rest of the day, drank endless cups of OJ, green tea, and Theraflu. Like the rest of NYC, I stayed in bed thinking about this real life Day After Tomorrow situation.


I was back to work, by foot, along with tens of thousands of New Yorkers crowding the already-busy streets. I couldn’t help but reminisce about 9/11—and how the day after I walked around in a daze. But that’s the thing about New Yorkers. We sow nails, and we grow crowbars. We get pushed, shoved, smacked and turned upside down, but we keep marching on. It's like one, big dysfunctional family of 18.9 million people—and we’ve always got each other’s backs. And so there I was, still feeling sick, complaining to JoCo, who told me to rush over to Duane Reade for a pack of Aleve-D Sinus & Cold. (“This is the only thing you should get. But make sure it’s the D! It’s the only thing that works—I think the D stands for Dr. Feelgood!”) I walked up and down the aisle, desperate to find the D, when a pharmacist told me that it’s behind the counter and I practically had to sign my life away to get the 10 caplets. They took everything but a urine sample, and then finally, it was in my hands.


I was feeling almost brand new this morning. Whatever drug concoction they put in Aleve-D, it worked. (Note to self: next time get the drowsy kind. There’s nothing like that lush feeling without the liquor.) All in all, I survived, despite the hurricane, the dangling crane in direct view from our office window on 57th Street, Donald Trump and his petty and childish comments about the president and my damn cold. Oh, one last thing: one of my fave artists, Canadian singer-songwriter Esthero, released her third album Everything Is Expensive this week, and it is a must-have. It’s a hybrid of jazz, pop and hip-hop with beautiful melodies and heart-wrenching lyrics. Esthero is what you get if you put Bjork, Portishead, P!nk, and Sade in a blender. Now rush off and get it, pronto. Treat yourself this week—it’s music for your soul! Hope everyone is safe and sound, and I’ll be back next week. Until then, follow me on Twitter at @SergioKletnoy!

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