2011 March 11
Napoleon, Her Royal Highness, A Fan, and Elvis View Gallery
(NEW YORK) We still have no clue why Napoleon, Elvis, and Queen Elizabeth II partied it up and posed for the shutterbugs last night at the Ace Hotel during Target's GO International Designer Collective event. That didn't stop us from gabbing away with the best Queen Mum impersonator The Daily has ever seen. MARIA DENARDO
How are you?
Oh, divine! We’ll speak with no one else around us. I learn so much this way, talking to common people. I think I like this mingling among my subjects.
What are you wearing?
It seems to be a dress. It’s actually from the royal collection, handed down from…oh, I forget now. I’ve been Queen for so long—I've been through ten prime ministers. It was made from a bolt of cloth found somewhere deep in the closets of Lord Chamberlain. He had secrets, you know.
What brings the Queen out?
I have decided to try to become more modern. It’s terribly necessary now. It kills me that we don’t go around in carriages anymore. I have to be somewhat more hip than I have been heretoforth. And of course, I want William to have a very nice wedding. I don’t want there to be any uproars connected with what happens afterward. I’m hoping I’ll be a little less uptight.
Do you shop at Target?
Have you seen the Target dresses in front yet?
No, I have not. Are there dresses? Do they have big hats to match? I’d be very happy to design the matching line of hats, shoes, and handbags.
How much are you allowed to spend tonight?
Oh, you’ll have to talk to Lord Exchequer about that. I don’t carry any cash on me.
Who do you think should collab with Target next?
Oh, dear. Not that woman who used to be married to Paul McCartney. How about Balenciaga? Is he still alive?
Thank you for granting us an interview, Your Royal Highness!
I wish you the best of luck. If you’d like to see the jewels sometime in a private audience, I think we can arrange that. Oh, honey, please don’t turn your back on the Queen. You have to back away slowly, like an English rose.
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